If you've been reading this blog for at least the last minute and a half, you may have picked up on the fact that I am a photographer and I have a photo blog. On the internet. Photos. Many.

BUT

I must tell you this. My name is Alli and I hate excessive and overwhelmingly empty online photo albums. If you have two or sixty, I have one question (well, one appropriate question) for you. Why do you insist on posting photographs that a) are not in focus b) are repeats (with a wee hint of a different smile or alternate angle on your neighbor's daffodils) c) HAVE NOTHING IN THEM.

Do I hear the "hypocrite!" cry coming from the peanut gallery? Correct, I have photos online and yes, I have a lot. Hundreds per year. However, I shoot close to everyday. Sometimes, God help me, feeding myself and paying rent via what I post. But rather than waste anymore of your time, let's look at what's important here. Maybe you, you with your little Canon SD1300 snapping away at the bar, could grow into a moderately skilled amateur photographer, but no one! would ever! know! because! 44! out of! 50! photos! are! useless! Take out the aforementioned a, b, and c and maybe you are left with something that doesn't make you look like a snap-happy narcissist. Whatever, I know that blown-out, "soft focus" photo visually erased what you think is the beginning of a single crow toe, but get rid of it! Another flower from your recent visit to Georgia? If you think people need to see it for the 17th time, pardon my Tagalog, but fuckin' frame it.

I say this now only because I look at this photograph and say, "Ok, what is this photo?"

Matter-of-factly, it's the "View from our hotel balcony." Lame, lame, lame. Whooooo cares what the view from our hotel looked like aside from the two of us and my mom? And at that, my mom is only really interested if there's some kind of tale to accompany said photo.

"Ok, you photo elitist," you may say, "then why are you posting this if you have nothing to say?"

Well, darlings, because I do. It's just not in the photo. My bed, which was just inside those French doors, is my main interest in this shot. What's so great about a bed to a girl that finds sleep to be optional*? Well, it was nothing less than a delightful Murphy Bed and I did have to do some sleuth work to find it. If you know me, you know that some hidden furniture/Easter basket/presents and a little Nancy-Drew-ing go a long way A tip? Spot a room with a private full-bath and a large, mediocre painting done by an unknown artist on one wall and you may have yourself a Murphy Bed. What can I say? Malibu beach houses taught me well...

I know that it's weird that I could write just as much about the bed as I can the view, but... Murphy Beds are awesome. So again, I ask, "What is your photo?" and "What is this photo?" This photo is the grand possibility of one human to be sitting on a Murphy Bed in Paris, looking toward a different world...

Never exploit what it means to be in that kind of a moment.

I triple-dog-dare you to go edit your albums.

*Note to the wise? If you ever want to get me to sleep find me a Murphy Bed - or make (by make, I mean just ask) me do 1,000 cartwheels.