Escargot. Snails. Yes, yes, you may be a tad bit overwhelmed by the unknown utensils they bring you or perhaps by the slimy, yet tender pieces of meat you are about to pull from their homes and devour like the carnivore you are, but fear not, friends. I am your humble servant ready and willing to teach you everything you will ever need to know about escargot.

First and foremost, snails can be either farmed or captured (I like to say captured... brings about a hilarious mental image a la Chef Louis and Sebastian the crab) in the wild. Those that are farmed are often fed fresh greens, dried foods and the occasional herb for enhanced flavor. All snails must go through a week-long fasting period prior to cleansing the intestines. Like deveining fresh shrimp, cleaning out the snail gets rid of bacteria and other impurities that change texture and alter flavor of the dish. Depending on what the snail has eaten, the contents of the intestines can be toxic, thus unsafe for human consumption.

Now let's get to the good stuff. These little guys are usually simply prepared with plenty of garlic and plenty of butter. The snails are removed from their shells, cooked in the sauce du jour and placed back into their shells for presentation. As you can imagine, the hard part here is making sure you have clean, quality snails on your hands and a simple, delightful sauce to accompany it. Well, that and making sure that your final product doesn't resemble a small piece of rubber.

If you take a look above, you can see that my dish was a slightly different take on tradition, adding fresh basil to the standard garlic/butter mix. With such a heavy basil aroma and flavor, the sauce was much closer to a pesto (sans the nuts and olive oil - uh, I guess that doesn't make it a pesto - you catch my drift) than a butter sauce. How was it, you ask? Let me tell you. Goodness gracious, oh-so-delectable-please-sir-may-I-have-some-more.

Okay, so maybe this wasn't everything you needed to know about snails, but it certainly starts you off on the right foot. If you are ever in the mood for snails and are afraid to trot down the path alone, I certainly will be more than willing to hold your hand and maybe even your tongs for you. It's the least that I could do.


Note: not all snails are edible. Please do not go to your garden, round up some escargot and plop them in a pot.