Oh, Pittsburgh. How I love thee, but cannot stay.
For at least some period in your life, comfort zones are best put to use when put out of use.
The trick to this, of course, is that the farther away you get from that existence, from the people and places you know, the closer you are to the things that really matter when you come back. Journeys become not so much about old perspectives in the new place, but about new perspectives in the old place.
Take this scenario, for example. You are standing alone on the bow of a ship in the middle of the South China Sea with the most brilliant lightning storm to the West and the most pristine starry sky to the East. You look to your right and you flashback to many an August night on the back porch, waiting for the Perseids to peak with your dad. To your left, the awe of light effortlessly illuminating a dark horizon brings you to past conversations solely about the grandeur of the universe with those whom you have let into your heart. Neither party is present, but then again, had you stayed, you would never have witnessed what is before you now.
Time passes and you eventually come to telling those people about that moment. The way they look back at you when you say, "and then I thought of you..." will tell you everything you ever wanted to know about true love. Love of your family, love of your friends and, uh, that other kind of love.
So, go away on your own for awhile, try it out and see how you feel about your life when you come back home.
Oh, and let me know how it goes.
PS - The Perseids peaked on 8/12 this year, in case you missed them.
Monday, August 18, 2008
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4 comments:
I once went away for a good while. It changed me. I cant say, and will not ever say, that I love life because of this 'experience'. But I can say that there are more moments in my day that I love than two years ago. More importantly, I appreciate these moments more than I would have before. Unfortunately with that comes moments of utter and inescapable sadness. These darker moments have become more fleeting with the passage of time, but unfortunately, I do not think they'll ever completely take leave of me.
I hold this theory pretty close, so, I appreciate that you had a similar resulting attitude- though I would have figured as much. The fact that two different experiences have resulted in like perspectives is further confirmation that I am not just making this up.
If you have never placed yourself outside of everything you know, you may think that I'm suggesting that you blow off what you know, whereas it is the exact opposite. In my experience, I returned too with a greater appreciation for the things I had left behind.
I am going to admit this because of relevance, but one of three reasons I didn't stay in Asia was to amend a pretty important friendship I had completely disregarded because of one ugly mistake.
This sounds cynical, but never in my pre-Asia life would I have done that and the crazy thing is that this whole perspective alteration occurs in such a short period of time.
Sometimes our comfort zones have a wisdom all their own. This is how they hold us. Best put, we are the plastic bag playing on the breeze. Our backs broad as sails, we are more than willing to let the wind take us where it's whims go. If you've ever watched that bag, it will often fly and dance in beautiful yet confined little circles. Almost seeming to have a choice a free will. Just when you've decided it has no choice and expect it to fall to the ground at your feet, it takes to the sky dancing off, reaching new heights. In that moment, you wish it would've stayed. However had it fallen to your feet, you would've walked away. Never falling in love with the magnetism of nature, the magnetism of a moment.
Boa tarde! (yeap, Portuguese)
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