I have been extraordinarily occupied the past week and a half, so I'm just now wrapping up my most recent venture to the infamous Los Angeles, California. We have a love/hate relationship in the worst way, but it's ok, because in a strange "is that all you've got?" sense, I can really enjoy it. In fact, as I once told Bilec, the decision to go to LA over New York, for me at least, is like sleeping with someone not quite up to par, just because you are afraid you may truly, deeply love someone else. You know you love that other person, but you don't want him/her to eventually disappoint you, or vice versa... so what do you do? Find the hooker that is LA and get at it, baby!
All kidding aside, I will say this: denial is a dangerous thing. However, in denying truth, you strangely learn a lot quicker about an infinite number of things than you may have otherwise. I know that seems backwards, but it has to do with totally stepping outside the bounds of your comfort zone and hmm... ummm no, LA at the time was not even remotely close to being on the radar of something mimicking comfort. That city beat me in the worst way and I will not let it win again. Actually, even better! I'm gonna befriend the son of a bitch!
The irony in all of this is that I really did gain a completely new world by getting the crap beat out of me. I paid a pretty penny for it, but what I lost, I found could not amount to that which I gained, simply because it wanted to lose me. I'm not shy to admit that I've had foolish moments where I wished I had never been there at all or that I made attempts many times, in desperate frustration, to prove that I was still me. Then... I realized how heart-breaking it was that I even had to think those thoughts... and that, my friends, was a piggy bank of pretty pennies shattered on a polished Calacatta floor - and boy do those suckers roll.
You don't actually have to tell me, but how many of you would trade the world for the price of those pennies?
Shot: lead vocalist of a SoCal metal band in rehearsal, whom I actually took an honest liking to. For whatever reason, I really felt this shot lent itself to a Rolling-Stone-circa-1971-reader-submission vibe, so I ran with it.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
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4 comments:
I hate to think that you settled for seconds by choosing to come to LA. But I wouldn't equate it with a disappointing lover - you can always throw them away. And even with great lovers, the chemistry is sure to fade over time. When one has chemistry with Los Angeles, it never dies. But LA is not New York. New York is not LA.
Your sentiment, though, goes a long way to summing up what others feel about LA and the resulting attitude of it's people. Coming out here "just to get something" means that everyone has an agenda.
It's kinda like the Osmonds. For all the platinum records they have, you can't find anyone ever admitting to buying one. You love it when you need it, but it's not "home".
So that's the shit side of this town. Everyone's got an agenda. But having lived here so many years, you settle in to the mentality and look at it for what it's worth.
In fact, you become keenly aware of the new comers as revealed by the level enthusiasm for which they tell you their latest project, or who's producing their film, or who they know.
You shake your head, smile, and know that the next person you talk to is going to have the same story with different names. That's not cynicism, mind you. It's just the way it is.
Maybe I'm just getting old.
Other than that -- I don't think their's any place better in the world for one simple reason. Having grown up in the mid west, through insufferable winters, nothing is more satisfying than a Christmas season of sunny, 75 degree days, walking along Rodeo Drive, and watching the palm tree lined streets catch the sparkles from the Baccarat holiday crystal hanging from the street lamps. It puts "...chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." in a whole new light.
Come back and see us 'hookers' again. We love to entertain.
Cheers.
Hookers provide a service. one noone else is willing to provide...love it hate it. The world needs ditch diggers, and better yet back door bettys.
Come to realize the relationship you have to a place - and use it for what it is worth to you. Because, unlike a prostitute - a city may have heart....but, def. no soul.
That is reserved for us confused beings. Keep the wind in your hair, horizon constantly coming closer.
never, never, never....should one want to trade the world for what they lost/spent.
The world is what we gain through our collectively smashed piggy banks.
Once you've spent all that you can. Then you will be free. Then you will be able to see your true make-up. Give It Away.
funk
I can't leave a comment as eloquent as the two before me, but i'm still operating on little to no sleep, so at least you can empathize, not that you've seen me in action. haha. I miss you and will totally still love you, even if you do decide to come out here and make your mark as a smelly pirate hooker. ;-) Mayer told me your body IS a wonderland...and that he lives in LA, so you should too.
First and foremost, I will humorously apologize for misleading anyone. My analogy in no way parallels my "personal" behaviors... just a descriptive concept based on human observation. Certainly no harm in writing a few thought-provoking words.
Secondly, to straighten this analogy out, LA is not settling for seconds, just childishly avoiding a known love for something that is simply spunky and fun, yet purposeful for that point in one's life. I know I say hooker, but that was just an extreme... although I can't deny that that isn't what LA is to some. Tony's right... it provides a service, hate it, like it or love it. Los Angeles will never be New York and vice versa, which is so obvious a statement I don't know why I even bothered stating it again, but touche, I do enjoy being entertained.
Furthermore, since "worth" was mentioned twice, I think it proper to say that worth is so deceivingly fragile that it can change with one tiny note, one tiny line, one tiny word... it's crazy how quickly value can increase or decrease with alterations in perspective, be it person, place or object.
Lastly, and of course most importantly, Shasta, my dear, you're making close to no sense, but I love you and miss you too! Sleep, little miss, sleep! And - please humbly tell him thanks for me.
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